Paper Boats

The brook gurgles beside, and I sit with a paper in my hand,
Wondering what I could possibly write that could change your mind,
So I write, “I miss you, come back please?”, and make a paper boat out of it,
Does this brook run through where you live?

The breeze turns into a stronger wind, and I sit with a paper in my hand,
Wondering what I could say in defense of all my mistakes,
So I write, “I am sorry, honestly, truly,” and make a paper plane out of it,
Does this wind blow towards your house?

The trees bear leaves a shade of orange, like your favorite dress,
I sit on a bench, one where we used to sit not so long ago,
And run my hand through the cold iron handle where your hand would have been,
Will you come to sit here this fall?

The narrow lanes so full of leaves, and winter is nigh,
Soon they’ll be painted white, a layer of ice warmer than your breath,
I would do anything that you asked of me,
Would you come back to this world?

Eternal Love

A high cliff, I stand there straight,
A dead end, time makes me wait,
I look at the skies,
Fathoming the emptiness beyond.

An eagle flies high,
The king of the sky,
Never cared about who else could fly,
We learned from them,
Made jets and planes,
And when the work was done,
Killed them ruthlessly,
Shooting gratitude in the heart.

The breeze is noisy,
The time is ripe,
I can try to fly, and fall,
Far down to the river that flows,
And no one would know,
But Death and Me.

No, that is not the path,
That I must take,
I hear a car screeching to brake.
She comes out, all rich and tidy.
I look at her,
The love of my life,
And think about how times have changed.

I think of the day,
When I first met her,
The ashes in my mouth,
Turn to a red rose for a moment,
Then disappear as she takes off her shades,
And I see the wrath in her eyes.

For the first time in these years,
I am unsure of my step,
The paths ahead seem hazy;
“Would you like to be with me forever?”
I ask her.

She looks at me with dead eyes,
Says “Yes” as a matter of fact;
I can smell the nonchalance,
The ignominy she faces in being with me.

No, this must come to an end.

I cannot let her suffer for being with me;
This cannot go on.
I ask her to walk with me to the cliff,
We look at the skies and we look at the river.
I tell her, “It’s your choice.”

She looks at me with her silent eyes,
I look into her eyes, “I can live without you,
Do you want that?”
She feigns a heavy heart, says “Yes”,
And continues with some more,
I have stopped hearing though.

My hands clench tight,
I ask my heart, does it think it can see,
Her with another man?
My heart replies, and I smile at her,
She seems nonplussed but smiles back.

I take a step back,
Then stumble onto her,
And look down the cliff,
Until I can’t hear her shriek anymore.
She would be remembered.

Rubble

We were standing at the edge of the cliff,
I asked you what would happen if I jumped off,
When suddenly I felt the push from behind.
I was in the air, falling, falling fast,
And your face receding into the sky,
The sun blinding my eyes so that I had to close them.
When they opened, I was lying on a meadow of soft greens,
And you were there by my head,
Singing a song of faith and trust.
I remember the vivid colors on your dress,
And I remember the smile on your face,
We talked about a dream,
Where three goons had kidnapped you,
And I had run so fast behind them,
That by the time I reached you, they had left you
And ran far away, but had bruised your face.
Now that I see closely,
I see the bruise above your eyebrows,
And I realize this is also another of those dreams,
So I wake up.

I hear my mother singing in the adjacent room,
My eyes hurt, so does my head,
The humming gets louder, the song turning to a chatter,
And now I realize it’s not a song,
It’s a foreign tongue someone’s speaking in the corridor,
So I get up from my bed,
And an acute pain rises from my spine to my brain,
Making me sleep again,
Meanwhile, my mother keeps singing in the adjacent room,
And tells me later how she sold our home,
For we were short of money, and this is weird,
Because I had money, and she never asked me for any of it.
I reprimand her, but now she is crying,
And I apologize, but I suppose it is too late,
She is leaving now, she walks out the door,
And I follow her, but she gets lost amongst a group of people,
Speaking in a foreign tongue in the corridor.

I come back into my room, and you are there again,
I tell you how I have been meaning to talk to you,
Tell you how much you mean to me,
How every second without you has felt like a year,
You’re humming a tune too, and the melody reminds me,
Of an incident years back when I had first fallen in love.
It’s funny how she doesn’t come in my dreams anymore,
And you laugh at me, and explain how,
Dreams are a manifestation of one’s truest fears,
I come closer to you, and can now feel your breath on my lips,
When suddenly we hear bomb blasts outside,
We run out, and now the house is in flames,
We look at each other with teary eyes,
Was this how it was meant to end?

Tomorrow

To think that tomorrow,
I’d have to wake without you,
Is haunting me for the past so many nights.
If only you’d stay.
Where the sun gleamed in through the tiny slits,
Of the blinds that you left open at night,
The curtains now stay shut,
Barring all light into the room,
Just like the light’s gone from my life.
And the table in the corner,
Where we had meals,
Now has a film of dust from being forsaken.

Sometimes I turn to the other side,
To find no one on the other side of the bed,
I hear no laughs in my house,
No sounds at all, except the clock,
And the ticktock is killing me,
Because it never seems to end,
And time is flying so quickly,
And yet it is so slow, that I wait for you,
And the waiting never ends.

Winter covers in its sheets,
The city all around me.
A layer of snow gathers up against the window ledge,
Melting off as soon as I touch it.
And I tell myself that’s how things are meant to be,
Never go too close, for the bird flies away,
It knows not your love for it,
For it has seen so many people come close to birds,
And then hold them by the neck,
Until their breaths die out,
That now it flies off even at the sight of a little kid,
Who loves it the most and wants to sing to it.

But like all things in life, this winter too,
Will live its day and come to an end,
And the sun will shine from behind the clouds,
The snows will melt and the grass would smile,
The world around me will soon turn,
From its colorless white to a green oh so bright,
And I will continue to live.

To think that tomorrow, I’ll have to wake,
To see that nothing has changed yet,
And that all my dreams are yet undone,
It makes me weep, it makes me sad,
And the snow, fog, and mist,
They will run their course as they do,
But deep inside, they know as well,
Their time is up, they must go now,
As should I,
So adieu dear friend, I’ll write more to you,
But now I must go, as all things should end,
And mark the beginning of another.

The Night We Stayed

I saw your eyes closely in the light of the night,
Whilst they looked at me, two stones of jade,
And lest this be washed away by the sands of time,
This is the story of the night we stayed.

I think of the past, how funny it has been,
For us to come to the point where we are,
Been through memories that are thorns to the mind,
And some as sweet as lekvar.

For being in love is a strange affair,
Dreams weaved out of other dreams,
And love, like the sun, in the bright of the morning,
Falls in sleepy streams.

But come night, Absence,
Makes its presence known to the heart,
And the mind bewildered knocks on every door,
Looking out for its sweetheart.

The night we stayed, I learned you’re precious,
And that I cannot afford to lose you,
But the morning came soon enough,
And I had to bid you adieu.

I write this letter hoping you’ll smile,
Think of me for a minute or two,
And shower me with all the love you can,
For it has long been overdue.

Should I?

Should I pour out my heart today,
Do I have the guts yet?
How many nights has it been now,
That I have slept without you by my side?
I have lost count of everything,
That once seemed to matter to me.
Now my whole world revolves around a single thought.
When will you be back?

I sit by the window, look at the trees,
Look at others walking down that lane,
Wasn’t it only yesterday that we did the same?
I think of unspoken nights, unspoken deeds,
How we fit the pieces of the puzzle,
To make it one whole, just like our lives,
Once wayward, without promises,
Now leading to one destination.
Now and then, when I look out into the street,
I see you and me walking, hand in hand,
I see you smiling at me, my life in your hands,
And you hold it close to yourself.

You’ve given meaning to my life,
Only to be away for so long,
And this is getting unbearable, for it has been,
It has been way too long without you.
I sit by the window, waiting for you,
When will you be back?

One Day

One day, when we’re tired,
Of the droning monotonous lives we live in,
And are flummoxed by everything that happens around us,
When the day is done and the sun sets down,
I’ll come over to where you sit all day,
Looking at those tiny-font lines of code,
And wondering if they’ll do the magic this time.

I’ll ask you out for a drink or two,
You’d look at me with the same grown look,
We’re growing old, and drinks don’t charm us no more,
You say it’s better to be in your senses,
What’s the fun in getting tipsy anyway,
When we’ve done that so many times?
Let’s try something new, for a change, you ask,
Let’s go out for a cup of tea.

So we walk outside, and the drizzle hazes your glasses,
You take it off and wipe it nonchalantly,
And that’s the first time I see your eyes,
As naked as it were in my dreams.
You eye me now, where am I lost?
I smile and say that I was wondering,
Are you a ginger or a cardamom person?
You pay no heed and continue to tell me the story
Of a neighbor who loves your dog.

We walk for a while, the rain’s now stopped,
And the last sip of tea remains in your cup,
You gulp it down, and we rush back to office,
You to your lines of code, and I, to mine.
And when after a while, I turn my head,
You’re smiling on the phone, your eyes are bright,
Telling him how you just had tea,
Subtly omitting out the colleague.

One day when we look back,
To trace how we fell in love,
We’ll not remember the numerous times,
We went to the pub, or danced to songs,
Which we could not remember the next day,
We won’t remember all the drinks we had,
Or all the ones we didn’t.
But that one evening, when we walked in the rain,
And tried to keep ourselves warm,
Tea being the only help,
And when I listened to your story,
Of the neighbor who loved your dog,
Is what we would remember as,
When it all began.