Inevitable

As much as you try, as much as I do,
We both know it’s inevitable,
For it’s already true, it’s already true,
My love for you, indelible.
For the nights bring stars,
Oh they shine so bright,
The heart full of scars,
It cries by the night.

Entrenched my love, what should I do,
Ensconced by the fears of how you’d react,
Gratification, only a delusion,
Which wanes as the morning sun rises.
She asked me once, an innocent face,
How melancholy became the prime ingredient of life,
I told her it was inevitable,
It is sugar to the coffee, some take less, some a lot.

Parsimonious God was when it came to joys,
Did not He want us all to be happy?
Where extravagantly He spent, grooming man’s desolation,
A shrewd move, by Him.
Skirmish between the heart and soul,
Neither claims victory tonight,
For the heart is enervated, too languid to love,
And the soul, too wretched to live.

The Unsaid

Beneath the wry smiles,
That lights up your face,
There is something unsaid,
That you’ve kept secret.
Beneath those blue eyes,
That never get moist,
There is something unsaid,
That you’ve never shed.
When no one’s around,
No one but me,
You’ve tried wearing masks,
I’ve often seen you thus.
You’ve tried to hide it,
And still let it out,
What do you want,
Whom do you love.
Don’t misinterpret me,
Today I might be still,
But deep down in my heart,
You know my will.
Beneath my jokes,
Beneath all the fun,
There is something unsaid,
Which only I know.
For when the sun sets,
For when the moon is up,
No one sees in the dark,
How your hands are cupped.
You muffle into them,
Cry a little sometimes,
Think about the past,
Think about the present.
Broken words,
Incomplete thoughts,
Incoherent talks,
Nostalgic sniffs,
I’ve heard them all,
I’ve seen them all,
Inside that heart of yours,
There is a lot unsaid.
You’ve smiled so much,
I wonder how much is true,
Won’t you tell me why,
You do this to yourself?
I’ve seen your hands,
I’ve seen the wounds,
How was your past?
Don’t you think I care?
Today I might be quiet,
Because others pry,
But when we are alone,
I will ask you why.
Will you tell me the truth then,
Or weave up another lie,
To keep from me everything,
Everything that is unsaid?

How It Changed Entirely

This is a sequel to Nothing Has Changed.

It is true that you change,
When people around you do,
Or else I wouldn’t be writing this today.
It is true that you change,
When I am absent,
Or else I wouldn’t be writing this today.
For coming back and starting,
From the point you left off,
Is never the same as not leaving at all.

You understood my eyes,
What they meant without speaking,
Now you can’t hear me,
Tell me, who changed?
You smiled at silly jokes,
Now you mock me with others,
Say I am stupid,
Why, who changed?

Goodbyes were meant to be happy,
Yet this time it isn’t,
I am sad and I’m upset,
But you wouldn’t know,
You are busy there, out with new ones,
And like old newspapers I’m trashed in a can,
Know that I’m sad to see,
How it changed entirely.

Abyss 5

Someone walked in through the bedroom door,
Walked out through the balcony,
And jumped to the ground below.
I kept looking at him, a known silhouette,
A plethora of emotions, a croaking of a raven,
The smell of first rain, and the salt from the sea,
The early morning breeze, and the hundred known faces,
All converging into one, then diverging into many.
I looked at the mirror, he looked at me and smiled,
Then vanished as the waves that lap against the shore.
He jumped back from the ground into the balcony,
This time I jumped to reach him, to hold his hand,
He wasn’t real, the face was now mine,
We had interchanged, only if it were for true.
The smell of smoke, of petrol and the wind in my hair,
We were racing on a road travelled years ago,
He looked at me, and his bike speeded up,
In a moment he vanished.

I was back on my bed, getting down to open the door,
He visited me for some notes,
We broke our fast together but his plate was untouched.
There was another woman going up the stairs,
She waved at me, and her face changed into his.
Then there was laughter, and I was in the classroom,
Sitting behind him, and he cracked a joke.
Everyone around was laughing, laughing merrily.
We came out of the class into the open air,
The grass so green and soft, like it was alive all over again,
We smiled, and yet tears were shed.
Someone shook me and I woke up, it wasn’t that bad a dream,
After all it was only a dream.
Or so I wished.

Quietly I Weep

A winter night, in the quilt I lie,
Thinking of days gone past by,
When I could have lived happier than I was,
And in my heart, something thaws.
It melts and gives way to things underneath,
Words to be said, deeds that I did,
Tears that I shed, and secrets that I keep,
And here in my quilt, quietly I weep.
Words have no worth, deeds undone,
Songs unheard, happiness shun,
Where I stand today I have stood before,
Only then she was there, now no more,
Quietly I weep, and no one knows,
How dries in me a small black rose,
She knew I loved her, then why do I,
Stand here today, all happiness wry?
Call the birds and tell them to go,
Tell her what she did no one will know,
And people will think I was but mad,
To lose knowingly what I had,
But she and I know, and it will prick,
I loved you and I will, the clocks still tick.

The Mindless Friend

Note: This is a sequel to Artificially Expert.

She looked up to see what it had in store for her,
“Are you in love?” it asked her next,
“This is not how you ask, ” she said to herself,
“Think before you speak,” she shouted almost vexed.
There are moments in your life, when everything,
Cannot be answered in a yes or no,
And it irritated her when it threw an error,
After she had written “I don’t know”.
How could she possibly tell it what she felt,
An angry bird, who tried to fly and failed,
Sat back in her nest and watched the others fly,
And silently with her head down, she had wailed.
She thought of last night when he had met her,
And told her what he thought was right,
He didn’t love her, she wasn’t good enough,
That he wanted her to be out of sight.
‘n’ she replied, and wished it would,
Understand her grief and ask no more,
The monitor blinked with ”Premises don’t agree”,
And though she knew it was right, it pained her to the core.
She rushed out to the kitchen, took a knife in her hand,
And slowly waited for the steel to turn crimson,
And when it happened, she realised she was fainting,
Only had love been a bit more fun.

Note: Long ago, it was suggested that people cannot explain how they think, but they can tell what they think. The fact is that people cannot really understand how they think. (If they did, it might not be such a big job to make a computer do it!) This is sometimes called the magic principle: On an emotional level, most people consider the process of thinking to be akin to magic.

Black Rose 2

When I was small I had a wish,
Of growing in my garden a black rose,
They say it is rare, and so thought I,
That except it won’t grow I any other rose.
Then I grew older and until then,
Every day I looked for a black rose,
When suddenly I came across one day,
A dark beautiful silent black rose,
In all the garden and in the whole plant,
There was only one, only one black rose.
It grew in the garden of one of the ladies,
My mother knew her since we were neighbors.
I went up to her and asked her softly,
‘Can I take that one’ pointing at the black rose.
She laughed for long and then she said,
‘Oh sure, but why would anyone take it,
It’s dry and dead and will wither off tomorrow,
Take a red one, or a yellow, they are not dead.’
I sighed for some time, alas, I was running,
For so many years for something that is dead,
And pondering over this thought I realized,
Even love in my heart is silently dead.
The heart was red, the rose was too,
But now that the rose had turned black,
Has my heart turned black too?