The toughest time though, was when she had just left.

Though I had never really told her how much she meant to me, my actions spoke volumes, which she pretended to not notice, lest things became uncomfortable for both of us. There was a lot that was going in our lives individually back then, and neither of us wanted another issue to take care of. We just let it be as it was, hoping that one fine day would definitely come when we would have to address it, and then we would. That day never came.

When I now look through old pictures, sieve through memories, or sometimes even talk to her over messages, I wonder how different things would have been if we had had the guts to face the truth. The truth hurt, and we ran from the pain. It was one thing to run, but I was literally scampering away from it. It was not necessary, I later realized. Once she left, things became just like it were before I had met her. I started growing back to what I was. People who had not met me in the interim did not realize how much I had changed. But those friends that I made in that interim when she was around, knew. They knew how much I had changed since before, and they knew how much I had struggled to get back to the point where I had begun. It would have been easy if life were a circle. I could just have continued and reached back to the initial point. But life was a complicated maze. And to retract it meant almost as well as to solve the entire thing again. Nevertheless, I did that.

An afternoon in February, I sat with her on the outskirts of what used to be a fort once upon a time. She talked nonchalantly as she always did, and it did not seem to matter to her that this was the last time that we would be meeting. She was happy because she was meeting me, and she wanted to enjoy the moment. It was then that it struck me how different we both were. There was a reason we had never fought till today. We had no common topic to fight for. We had nothing that could be same or different. We were two trees in a forest, the entire woods separating us. And we kept looking at the skies, never realizing the differences that lay beneath. Perhaps it was time to embrace the truth. Or perhaps it was too late.

I would never know. Nor would she. Unless we met. On the other side of the sea.

On Completing a Book

Reading the last page of a book,
Is like living the last day of a life,
A life so true, as if dreams were real,
Is like loving someone for one last time,
Meeting someone over the last date,
Knowing that you have had,
So many moments that you cannot relive again,
Even if you did the entire thing again.
If the library were a universe,
Stars beyond numbering,
I would be one of them,
Longing to light up the world,
Just like the others do.
Gather them up, before I sleep,
Count them, one, two, three, four,
Get frustrated when I lose my tracks,
Start again, until my eyes get cut off,
From the light around me,
Putting me into a deep slumber,
Filled with dreams from everything I have ever read.
For life is but an empty book,
Meant for you to fill in its pages,
And how you do that would make you or mar you.
On finishing a book,
The only happiness that one does feel,
That I feel right now,
Is that,
Another one is on my way,
Another story to live, another character to love,
Another person to become,
Another life to enjoy, while it lasts.

Travelling Around

You have seen Game of Thrones, and the widely famous dialogue at the end of the episode where Jaime pushes Bran down the wall. “The things I do for love.” How true is it? Can anyone really do something which is beyond what words can describe, only for love? Enter, the Taj Mahal. When I wrote the post “What’s Up“, I might have been swayed into a completely different perspective regarding the monument, for which I have the weather to blame. However, I visited the Taj once again, this winter. So in less than a year, I visited this monument a couple of times, and it would be worthy to mention that my perspective has changed by volumes during this visit.

The Agra trip has been one of the best moments this year, more importantly because it provided me with ample time to spend with my family. In the busy world that we live in today, where work is worshipped so much that people are ready to sacrifice some of the most important moments, and take some of the most important wrong decisions in life, being succumbed to the pressure in their organizations, a few moments of luxury deserves a special mention. In a weekend that was so jam-packed that I could not take out the time to write this down, I visited some of the finest places in and around Agra. The Agra Fort, the Taj Mahal and Fatehpur Sikri. The latter was one of the best road trips till date, the constant drizzling with heavy showers intermittently, yet sunny whenever we got down.

It is not every day that you see your parents contented, and sometimes just that one smile speaks volumes of satisfaction. I realized too late that travelling is one of the best, (and in fact the best) way to spend life. It is rightly said that the world is a book, and not travelling is akin to you reading only one page of the book. Fatehpur offered so much more than we could imagine, primarily because I did not have first-hand information about that place. It was a place I wanted to visit, only because people had recommended it for Agra trips, but the ‘dargah’ of Salim Chusti, and the Buland Darwaza, make for one of the most calm yet huddled places in and around Agra. However, the most important part of the trip was the visit to the Taj. I obviously will not spend time writing about it because that is what Wikipedia is for, but if you are someone who values history, contemporary or ancient, I strongly urge you to definitely visit this place at least once in your life. You will definitely not regret it.

I have been staying in Delhi for more than a year now, and yet occasion has never proved worthy until earlier this month. A fortnight ago, we had guests from Jamshedpur. And since they had come to Delhi after a long time, it was but obvious that they would have wished to spend some time visiting places in Delhi that were noteworthy. Astonishingly, I myself had not seen much of the places in and around Delhi and wanted to avail this chance. It was a one-day tour, from morning till evening, but the sheer number of places that we visited made the day worthy of remembrance. Most of us know that one of the most fascinating things about India is the diversity that it encompasses. This diversity is most prominent in historical monuments and structures specific to religions. Also, something that gives me great pride about this diversity is the open-mindedness and tolerance of every religion and section towards the other. This means that a Hindu would not mind visiting a Gurudwara, and a Sikh can go to a church and no one will frown. Freedom. And freedom is important, because that is what keeps you going. That is what makes you take the next step, and the next, and see yourself through the entire ladder of life. We went to a number of places, and you should really google them up, and read a little bit about them, because they are a definite “must-go” places if you ever get a chance to come to Delhi. Among the many places that we went, the Laxminarayan Temple (also known as the Birla Mandir), India Gate, Gurudwara Bangla Sahib, the Red Fort, the Jama Masjid, the Jantar Mantar, and Akshardham are a few of those that you must definitely pay a visit to, whenever you are free. Just so you know, the Lotus Temple and the Qutb Minar are two other monuments that are spell-bounding as well, but I didn’t include them in the former list as they were not a part of this trip.

All said and done, when I got back home, a sense of happiness wrapped me around, like a mother cuddling her infant. I was happy that I did this, and could not have wished for a better day. See you soon, with more posts. Hopefully the next ones will be sooner than this one was. I have been out of writing for some time now, but I think it is time I get back to it. Bye.


Cold winds lap my face, sending chills through my spine,
As I pull the hood over my head, losing track of time,
Once at the corner of this road, a small restaurant stood,
Which served hot tea with biscuits for cheap,
Now there was a huge building, blocks of concrete,
Studded with decorated lights, and barring entry,
Only restricted people enter it, people who know not,
What it might have felt like to know not what rich is.

It is serene all around, soft huddled voices come from all sides,
I spot a couple whispering to each other,
They look at me with sullen faces, as if I disgust them,
And I know why it is so, only I don’t take it to my heart.
It has always been so, since I was small, smaller than my niece.
They hate me not because I am bad,
And they don’t hate me for the wrong deeds I have done,
But they hate me for my hands are not white,
They hate me because the dusk seems more akin,
Than the sunny brightness, on my face.

Yet I don’t pay much heed to it,
For what cannot be changed need not be changed.
I have learned to adapt myself, much like my friends,
Like fishes which are small, stay huddled together,
So that sharks cannot encroach upon them,
And at night, when I get back,
The serenity around me, is what I have always wanted,
And I have got that, and I should be happy,
So why must I frown, and why must I be sad,
If he who does not know me, hates me?