I kept sitting there, wondering what to do,
Whilst you came and took a seat beside me,
I kept quiet then, wondering what to say,
Whilst you smiled and talked to me,
And how naturally and gently it came,
Two pecks on the left sleeve of my shirt,
That I didn’t even care to think of it,
Now that I do, I feel I should have.
The slightest of perfume behind your ears,
The life of a wren, silent but long,
The smile on your face, wry but persistent,
And the tears which I’d wish were mine,
I wish I could love you, a dream impossible,
But aren’t most of them like that?
You know how I feel, and you’ve kept it that way,
That I’d move forever like a pawn in the game,
Though I wished I could have walked liked the queen,
Now that I miss you, a lot more than before,
I’d think you do too, had you said that to me,
It’s an incomplete way to finish what I wanted to say,
But my life’s incomplete too, so it would do.
There appeared a hole, a narrow deep one,
And inquisitive enough about what it would be,
I started delving into it.
I went deeper and deeper inside it, deep into the abyss,
Until I found myself in a place,
Where winters never existed.
I didn’t know where I was, except that,
I knew no one around me knew that either,
We all came from somewhere we couldn’t remember,
And settled around this fire, the fire of death.
I saw this small guy, who said he died the same day,
How he died he didn’t know, and little did he know,
That I knew how he did.
He clasped my hand, and asked me to take him back,
Through the same hole that I came inside through.
I agreed, but when I turned around,
The hole was nowhere to be seen.
Only a sick laugh surrounded us, a laughter of cries,
Saying what’s gone is gone.
Colors of his life, colors of my life,
Turned then from white to black,
And whilst we sat thinking how we’d go back to life,
Someone pushed me and I woke up to a horror,
It’s two years now, where are you?
The one who sits with you by day,
Promises happiness wild and gay,
Says he’d bring the moon for you,
Where there’d be room for two,
He who says he loves you,
More than anyone else can ever,
And that the day he forgets you,
That day in his life would come never,
The one whom you kissed on the forehead,
When he was sad and wanted to die,
He’s not me.
I am the evil that you haven’t seen,
The star which shines on dark things light,
He who kills with his eyes painfully,
The one who promises to live with you,
Only to stab you behind your back,
To kiss you on your lips with his poisoned ones,
The one who said he’ll die for you,
Yet knows he’d kill you when needed,
Who shows you a smile and is full of wrath,
The one you love and the one you think of,
The one who never ever thought about you,
Do you remember the night we cried,
When I was lonely and afraid of the night,
When I wished someone was close to my heart?
No, you don’t ’cause that night never came,
‘Cause you weren’t with me then when I needed you,
You aren’t with me now, no you aren’t.
Do you remember the day we laughed,
When I felt your cry and I wiped your tear,
No you don’t ’cause you have other things,
To remember, to smile about, to laugh, to enjoy.
I haven’t slept, and do you know that,
No, ’cause you were sleeping with someone else,
I haven’t eaten, and do you know that,
No, ’cause someone else ate away what was mine,
I haven’t cried, and do you know that,
No, ’cause my tears have dried out forever,
I haven’t laughed, and do you know that,
Yes, for you stole my laughter forever.
Do you know why I write this today,
It’s ’cause I’m sure you’ll never read it once,
It’s ’cause you don’t know whether I even live,
It’s ’cause you don’t know I love you still.
For you, who I long to see smiling genuinely
You say you’re done, when it has only started,
Your life, your dreams, your wishes, everything,
You say it’s over, when it didn’t even start,
Your happiness, your cheer, your smile, your fear.
Life is not made of a night,
Which you’d spend and regret tomorrow,
It’s made of a summer, a summer of joy,
Which comes again after a winter of pain.
You say you’re happy, and your eyes do show,
How happily you live each moment of your life,
How you wish to cry and then keep dumb,
Your tears, which dry out in the heat of the night.
It’s he about who you talk each moment,
I silently listen, trying to stop you from doing it,
You yourself, still a mystery to me,
For that light is wiped out even before it’s lit.
I know I am no one, no one will I remain,
I am happy this way, because I don’t expect,
The only thing I’d wish if I wished,
Is that you bring out that smile on your face,
Give yourself a chance you’ve never given,
Try to live it how it should be lived,
For a rotten apple can rot the whole tree,
Unless it is plucked and set free.
Tonight you may keep quiet,
Expect me to understand,
But what if I understood wrong?
Now that I know what you think,
Now that I love what you do,
Now that you come in my dreams,
Now that I wish you were for always,
Let this moment exist.
How long will this go on,
How long will you keep dumb,
How long will you make me wait,
To hear what you’ve wanted to say for long?
A moment lost is never regained,
And the first step is never a fail,
Take it once, try it once,
You may fall, but I am there to hold you up.
Hold my hand lest you fall,
Hold my life lest I fall.
Head on my shoulder, nightly hair,
Twinkling eyes, a face so fair,
Speak a thousand words, yet stay so dumb,
And somewhere deep within I go numb.
What’d you’d dream when you fall asleep,
I know beforehand, ‘coz you am I,
Your hands, their touch, the shiver within,
Your smile which covers up your cry.
Who cares what’d happen tomorrow with me,
When you are with me, this moment, forever,
Put it in my fist and close it hard,
And like sand it flows out more than ever.
Your eyes, my tears, my happiness, my dreams,
They close today somewhere in between,
And before I panic myself to death,
They open again, a flickering screen.
The thief inside me longs to rob you of,
Your smiles, place them in my heart forever,
Lest someday someone else steals it,
And then it’s lost, which I’ll see never,
Who cares for you, no one in this world,
They are all too busy with me,
Waiting for the day when I leave all of myself,
To a new world, which is happier to be.
Who cares for me, no one in this world,
They are all too busy with you,
Waiting for the day when you leave all of myself,
To a new world, which is happier to be.